Challenges Lately

My life has been filled with challenges since January.  It started with my getting sick a week before a heavy schedule of classes and the busy season at work starting, followed by my dad not doing well and eventually passing away, plus discovering a high blood pressure problem and hot flashes are back!  I know there were a few other things thrown in by I cannot think of them at the moment.

The high blood pressure brought me back to my senses – well, after initialing adding to my high blood pressure!  I had been barely managing my stress level until the last week before Dad died.  The news that he did not have much time pushed me over.  In fact, the week before he died was harder emotionally than when he died. Weird I know.  I suspect I am not letting it truly set in emotionally.

As I stated, realizing I was having problems with high blood pressure brought me back to my senses on a lot of things.  I had never had a high blood pressure problem like this before, so I knew it was from stress.  Stress that came from MY perspective on the events happening in my life, combined with my being overweight and not exercising.

I need to walk the talk, so to speak.  I am always saying how we need to take care of ourselves, but I have not been doing so.  I was stressing myself out about catching up on my homework, which in reality is not as important as my health.  So I took a lower grade one week to help me get caught up.  I am in ’training’ for walking the Bolder Boulder, which I started this week.  I had joined Weight Watchers, however with the events of the past few weeks had stopped actively participating in it.  Time to get back on track!!  I have a class on Journaling the Healing Self…I guess I should be using that as an opportunity to heal myself!!  I bought a Tai Chi dvd, we’ll see how it goes.

Here’s keeping my fingers crossed and we will see how this goes!

Loneliest Time of Year

I read a Facebook Page post today that hit me hard.  It had to do about this time of year being the loneliest time of year (in predominantly Christian areas).  And that is so true.  Not so you say (if you agree with me, keep reading...I'll be addressing that further down)?  Well...

• Suppose your coworker cannot get home for the holidays this year.  Oh, they may have told you they were because they didn't want you to feel sorry for them.  But in reality they are sitting home alone today.  Possibly doing work.  Or heck, they might even go into the office for awhile.
• What about the little child who lost a parent this year?  Even with family around, trying to make up for that loss, do you really believe that kid isn't going to be feeling lonely?
• Or perhaps the homeless person.  They might not have any family to turn to, or maybe because of bridges they've burned don't feel they can go home.
• Nursing homes are full of truly alone people.
• People that are not Christian are excluded from everything, including businesses shutting down, as their belief is not respected by their 'friends' or local businesses. 
• It can be a position you've mentally put yourself in.  Maybe you're dealing with some emotional issues, and especially if you're female hormones can be making those issues even larger than they are.  It doesn't matter...in your head they are just as real as those situations mentioned above.

There are so many other examples, just look around.  Your cheerful "Merry Christmas" can in reality make a person feel even more alone.  In fact, can make them very Scrooge-like (I'm speaking from experience here).

So you're one of the ones that agree with me?  That this can be the loneliest time of year?  I was feeling very sorry for myself when it finally dawned on me (after taking it out badly on someone I deeply love that, for whatever reason, is not sharing the holidays with me  - sorry about that love), that is EXACTLY what I was doing!! 

I was allowing myself to feel sorry for myself.  Say what?  Once I read that posting, I realized how pathetic I was being.  True, in my case new hormonal changes (that I haven't had an opportunity to adjust to yet) were making the situation worse.  But in reality, how bad was the situation really?  I came to the conclusion it doesn't matter 'why' I feel lonely.  Each person's situation is different, some more 'real' than others. 

Now what?  What can I do about it?  I'm alone, right?  Nope, there are a lot of things I can do about it. 

1. An attitude adjustment on my part.  I might be alone, but that doesn't mean I have to feel lonely and sorry for myself.  I have many positives in my life.  As many people have larger obstacles to overcome than I do (and they do a much better job of it than I have been doing), mine is really trivial.  I need to focus on the positives.
2. Focus on taking action.  This year I'm writing this blog (lol).  Next year I plan on preparing activities to keep busy (which I should have done this year, but I won't beat myself up over that now).  Some ideas I have are trying to get ahold of others that will be alone and host a caroling party and go to nursing homes.  Have a sledding party.  Volunteer at a homeless shelter.  Or animal shelter (talk about being alone).  Do you have any homebound neighbors?  Or neighbors not able to get home?  What about someone struggling to make ends meet?  Be a Secret Santa.  Write letters to servicepeople over seas.  Take your pets for a walk and play with them.  Not taking action just makes one feel worse.  And there are tons of things you can do. Which could make for a happier holiday season for someone else that needs it.
3. Take care of yourself.  While this one seems obvious, it's not.  It can be as minor as making sure you drink enough water.  For me, in addition to that, I need to exercise (aerobic as well as strength training), yoga, eat nutritionally, meditate, journal (especially good for writing down your feelings about what you're going through), take any medicine you're supposed to be taking (in my case, my asthma medicine), and take daily vitamin supplements.  You should get the idea by now.  Taking care of yourself does not include sleeping until all hours, letting depression get the best of you.  You want to make sure you get enough sleep, but not too much.
4. Forgiveness/love.  Forgive others for not doing what you want them to do.  Instead, love and accept them just they way they are.  Try not to manipulate them (watch out for doing that subconsciously).  Truly forgive the trespass you imagine they have done.  Remember, they are on their own path, not the one you want them to take.  If you really love them, stop being selfish. 
5. Avoidance.  Yes, avoidance.  Avoid that which brings you down, when possible.  That can be certain types of movies (for example, all these movies where one shows their love for another by walking through fire - so to speak - just to be with the one they love.  Come on, that's not reality folks and just sets unrealistic expectations), talking to certain people (even though sometimes that is what you need to do), or even what you ingest (junk food and/or alcohol.  Many people resort to alcohol when they are afraid or lonely, which only makes it worse.  Much better to find other ways to cope).
6. Accept/ask.  Many times we're invited to something but, as we're feeling sorry for ourselves (or depressed) we decline.  Or maybe there are other people we could be asking to get together but we don't, for the same reason.  Push yourself and either accept that invitation or ask those people.  You could be making their day better for it.
7. Make a Plan.  If you know you're going to be alone, make a plan ahead of time so you do not allow yourself to get lonely in the first plan.  Schedule parties, look for the volunteer opportunities.  Do not wait until loneliness hits...then it might be too late to find something.

Yes, this can be the loneliest time of year...if you let it be.  Let's make this time of year the best time of year  - for ourselves and for others!  Focus on more than yourself and try to help others get through this lonely time.  Who knows, our actions just might save a life also.

If you have any suggestions and ideas, please share them!

Emergency Stress Kit

I got caught up in life recently...my apologies for not posting something sooner.

I have put together two things...one is my emergency stress kit, one is my prevention plan.  In my emergency stress kit are:

• First and foremost, make sure I am spiritually connected.  Have I been meditating and staying connected with my higher power?  This is the most important one, the rest are tools my higher power provided me.
• Comedy television shows and movies!  When I'm having problems, I need the laughter...it's one of the best forms of stress relief.
• If I am having trouble sleeping due to stress or anxiety, I like Sleepytime Extra.  About the time I am half way through the cup, I can hardly keep my eyes open (I make sure I'm in bed prior to drinking it).  I found the regular Sleepytime does not do quite the job as Sleepytime Extra.  If I am at work, or do not want to do to sleep, I use Tension Tamer.
• Physical exercise!!  This is a must to wear off that energy that is built up!!  Many studies show aerobic exercise is the best, however for me I find that using my muscles works best.  So I clean, rearrange my furniture, etc.
• Yoga/Meditation - or any form of relaxation technique (I've just discovered Qi-Gong and love it).  These relaxation techniques help calm the mind.
• Vitamin B supplement.
• Try to eliminate all caffeine and sugar! The system does not need that when you are trying to calm down.
• I have to admit, I have a teddy bear I sleep with when it's really bad.  It's comforting.
• I have CD's that help reduce stress.  Some have soothing music, such as Enya, Yanni, Kenny G, or are made just for the purpose of reducing stress (found in the book stores), others are affirmation CDs.
• List reasons I am grateful...blue sky, flowers, a pet snuggling with me, the smell of rain on the ground, a child's laughter, hot running water for a shower...the list can go on indefinitely.
• Go to the Do As One site.  This site focuses on breathing (or laughter in one 'room').  I really like this site as there are various length timers, including one for only two minutes.  This is a great resource to use when I don't have much time, such as when I'm at work.
• DRINK LOTS OF WATER!!!
• JOURNAL!!!

This is my stress management kit...so if I can't find my document on my computer, at least I can always come back here!  Next I will be talking about my prevention plan, which will be very similar to the above...

Have a peaceful day everyone!

Winter Feast for the Soul

This January 15 - February 23, 2011 the Winter Feast for the Soul will be held.  I just learned about this event myself from a cousin.  I went to their website to learn more about it.  According to their website, their Longer-term Vision is “We hold a vision that includes all spiritual traditions and organizations in a synchronized schedule for their winter practice periods. Through this collaboration we will all become part of a shared dream for a new consciousness and peace on our planet.”

As I read the above, I wondered what the heck did this mean?  So I dug a little more into their website.  According to their website, for 40 days each participant will “set aside 40 minutes each day to still and focus the mind and to dedicate that time to communion with Spirit.”

This event is not restricted to meditation.  While many will use meditation, contemplative prayer, reading sacred texts, yoga, journaling or expressive arts are other forms that the participants will use. 

Some history - this event started in 2008 with 150 people and has grown to over 20,000 in three years with participants from over 29 countries.  It was inspired by the following poem:

“What nine months does for the embryo
Forty early mornings
Will do for your growing awareness.”

~  Jelaluddin Rumi

I’m still learning more about the event and will share with you as I do.  It sounds like it should be very interesting and I signed up to participate.

I believe this is my last blog for my class requirements.  Please continue checking back for future blogs as this is just the beginning.  I will delve more into so many aspects of my spiritual path that I am on.  It’s exciting to discover my path and I can’t wait to see what’s around the corner.