Life Goes On

Wow, life just keeps getting busier and more interesting as time goes by.  Again, I cannot believe how long it's been since I've been on here.

These last couple of years have been tough with four deaths in less than a year plus some health problems among other things.  My spiritual journey felt like it has been on hold, yet I realize that everything that happened is part of the journey.

Not everything was bad.  Last year we joined a ghost club. One of the first things we did was go to a cemetery (of course) to see what people could pick up.  I was drawn to the other side of the cemetery so I decided to walk over and see why.  As I approached I sensed a little girl was there.  When I got to the headstone and read it I was excited. The headstone is for a 9 year old girl.  As I left I got the sense she didn't want me to leave and that she either couldn't come with me or felt she shouldn't.  On our way out I had pictures taken with her.  At first I didn't see anything in the pictures but then I saw her. In the picture we 'posed together in' you can see a face with a little girl face peering over the shoulder.  Interestingly, in the photo where I'm asking her to come join me she appears remarkably like Casper the Friendly Ghost!!!  She preyed on my mind so much that the next day I Googled her.  I found her obituary which stated she died from an illness following measles.  That explained how I picked up that she didn't think she could join us! While I feel very sad for her, I was excited as for the first time I had proof I actually sense spirits.

My newest challenges have been aging parents.  I've lost my dad to Alzheimer's and now it appears my mom might have Dementia and my stepdad Alzheimer's.  My siblings have been unsupportive up until now, so I've had to do the song and dance all on my own.  Just how do you bring up to your mom you want her tested for dementia?!?!?   Well, I managed and now we're setting up an appointment.  And my stepdad...that will be an interesting (NOT) one.  He has already refused to sign a HIPPA release because the doctor does not need to be talking to anyone about him!  At least we have the wills updated and the power of attorneys completed.  Whew.

Through what I've gone through so far I've learned I really, really, really need to focus on taking care of myself.  Unfortunately part of that is reducing my fun stuff with friends.  I still plan on doing things but it will have to be greatly reduced.  I have been exhausted.  I cannot imagine what my mom is going through.  We talked last night about getting tested for dementia and my stepdad possibly having Alzheimer's and she's scared.  More about my stepdad (she claims).  One thing I've vowed is that I will hide nothing from her.

Now to get the siblings to step forward and help...

Challenges Lately

My life has been filled with challenges since January.  It started with my getting sick a week before a heavy schedule of classes and the busy season at work starting, followed by my dad not doing well and eventually passing away, plus discovering a high blood pressure problem and hot flashes are back!  I know there were a few other things thrown in by I cannot think of them at the moment.

The high blood pressure brought me back to my senses – well, after initialing adding to my high blood pressure!  I had been barely managing my stress level until the last week before Dad died.  The news that he did not have much time pushed me over.  In fact, the week before he died was harder emotionally than when he died. Weird I know.  I suspect I am not letting it truly set in emotionally.

As I stated, realizing I was having problems with high blood pressure brought me back to my senses on a lot of things.  I had never had a high blood pressure problem like this before, so I knew it was from stress.  Stress that came from MY perspective on the events happening in my life, combined with my being overweight and not exercising.

I need to walk the talk, so to speak.  I am always saying how we need to take care of ourselves, but I have not been doing so.  I was stressing myself out about catching up on my homework, which in reality is not as important as my health.  So I took a lower grade one week to help me get caught up.  I am in ’training’ for walking the Bolder Boulder, which I started this week.  I had joined Weight Watchers, however with the events of the past few weeks had stopped actively participating in it.  Time to get back on track!!  I have a class on Journaling the Healing Self…I guess I should be using that as an opportunity to heal myself!!  I bought a Tai Chi dvd, we’ll see how it goes.

Here’s keeping my fingers crossed and we will see how this goes!