Anxiety Bloomed Again

Last evening an event happened that reminded me to focus on anxiety prevention.  Recently I became lax on doing what I am supposed to be doing.  One of my beloved cats, Chloe, got out of the yard.  Now realistically, Chloe knew how to get back home.  She used to be a neighbor's cat that kept getting out of his house and coming to mine (he eventually told me to keep her).  So I KNEW she would come back...however anxiety took over.  I thought about all the posters and Lost ads I've seen over the years, and the stories I've heard people tell about how their pet never returned.  And hey, there are cars out there that could hit her...and cruel kids that think it's funny to torture animals, not to mention dogs that attack cats.  My anxiety skyrocketed!

In the past I put together a "Stress Management Emergency Kit" for times such as these.  However, life had been going so well in the last year or so that I forgot all about it.  Then when I did remember, I couldn't remember anything in it, nor the list of what it contained.  This morning I hop onto the computer to redo my kit, as well as put together an official anxiety prevention plan.  Before I started, I search my computer just in case my kit list was there...and of course it was!  In plain site, top level of My Documents.  I shook my head at myself.

So right now I'm developing my anxiety prevention plan, as well as updating my Stress Management Emergency Kit.  I believe in the Mind~Body~Soul connection, so I want to make sure all these areas are covered in my plan and kit.  I'll post my anxiety prevention plan next...need to go finish it...stay tuned...then after that will be my Stress Management Emergency Kit. 

In the meantime, remember to breathe!!

Be As You Want To Be, Live As You Want To Live

Have you ever said to yourself, "someday I'll lose weight," or maybe "someday I'll travel," or "someday I'll _______"?  Fill in the blank with whatever you've said you'll do 'someday'.

For me, 'someday' was/is I'll lose weight, go dancing, have a clean house, etc etc etc.  Years ago I was thinking these types of things...I wanted to be a nicer, more caring and considerate person...'someday'.  I wanted to get into meditation...'someday'.  I wanted to not be afraid to be who I really am around other people...'someday'.  Heck, I wanted to have a cat enclosure...'someday'. 

I had read plenty of motivational books over the years, and they all talked about how you need to start doing things...take that first step.  And while I understood that intellectualling, it still didn't sink into this brain of mine.  And then one day it really dawned on me.  'someday' will never come - it will always stay in the future.  If I want to be a certain way (i.e. more confident, self-assured, etc) or do something (have that cat enclosure, meditate, etc)...I need to start doing it NOW!!   If I don't start doing it now, someday will never come!  Same with losing weight...if I want to be a healthy weight, it has to start now. 

So I built a cat enclosure.  I'd never used the tools before and had NO idea of how to go about making one.  Part of what I had to do was make a box type thing to set into one small area.  I worked diligently on it.  As soon as I was done with the frame, I stood back to look proudly on what I made...and started laughing instead.  It wobbled horribly!  So, I undid it all and redid it.  This time it worked out (I learned from my previous one on how to do it).

I started meditating.  I have audio tapes that help me with visualization meditations, which are the type that I like best at this point in my life.  When possible, I try to get into nature - spend the day in the yard - as that is a form of meditation for me. I learned how to breath, which has helped me greatly when my anxiety kicks in.

I got a new job I LOVE!!  It was very scary to go for it but I am SO glad I did!  It has positively changed my life so much and in so many ways.  Leaving the 'known' was very difficult for me, however my last job wasn't the life I wanted to live.  I had to carry around a courage talisman with me all the time to help remind me to have the courage to go for it. 

Specially as I age, I want to be healthy.  As I am overweight and out of shape, focusing on this became a priority.  So I started working out and joined Weight Watchers ('someday' I wanted to eat more nutritionally).  This is still in the beginning stages, however I'm already feeling better physically.

I find the main difficulty with being the way I want to be and living the way I want to live is maintaining the attitude. I've been conditioned for so long to be the other way.  Being as I want to be and living as I want to live doesn't happen overnight.  But like any program, I just have to take it a day at a time.

So as if this moment, BE the way you want to be, LIVE the way you want to live.  If you don't do it now, someday will never come.

Life's Perspective

I have a high school reunion coming up.  As I was contemplating whether I wanted to attend or not (I have gained a lot of weight, I am still single, and I have no kids) and feeling...well, basically sorry for myself, a friend shared this video on facebook.  It made me pause and consider what the truly important things in life are. I thought I'd share.

Strength from Trials

My life had been a fairly easy one, even though my parents divorced when I was young.  I was fortunate in that my parents worked hard to remain friends.  I have been very grateful to them for that. 

In 1999, it seemed like the ‘powers that be’ took a look at my life and decided I was WAY behind on the trials we all have in life - and they decided to catch me up on them.  For nine years, my life was lived in what I call a ‘black hole’.  Hit after hit came, giving me no time to recover before the next one hit.  During that time I remember reading about how trials make us stronger.  And I vehemently disagreed with that statement.  I felt weaker, not stronger – they were crazy and didn’t know what they were talking about!

I had major anxiety issues from all the stress that was going on in my life.  I had no 'tools' to deal with what was happening.  My mental state...well, while my family has always considered me odd, was now also on shaky ground.  I couldn't take it any more...I had to find a way to deal with this.  I did a lot of researching anxiety.  This introduced me to many tools and resources to help me.  And each thing I learned led me to another one, which eventually led me to my spiritual journey I am currently on.

Three years ago these major events culminated with the death of my eldest nephew.  As sad as I am, I have to be grateful to him - he gave me a last gift in his passing.  It was through that whole ordeal that I recognized that I had become stronger.  The saying was true, we do become stronger through our trials.  I now view it as similar to strengthening our muscles.  We have to be pushed to the point of being a little weaker, in order for the muscles to build and become stronger.

If you’re in a ‘black hole’, believing you’re weaker and will never be strong(er) again, just have faith.  It just takes a little time, but you will come out on the other side stronger. Trust me, I’ve been there. 

Thich Nhat Hanh's Message to the Next Generation — Feather Wisdom

A thought provoking speech by Thich Nhat Hanh, talking about how our generation has borrowed from our children and grandchildren - that this planet belongs to them.  He mentions how we've damaged our earth and borrowed too much from the planet.  He feels the people need to wait up as soon as possible and take responsibility - and it can't be done individually, it needs to be done as a group - a 'collective awakening'.

Hanh also mentions how we always want more (we're never satisfied, basically - not news to me).  Even when we get our needs met (shelter, food, heat, clothing, transportation) we still feel it's not enough.  That even people with butler's and/or fame 'suffer'. 

We need something more than things...we need love and understanding.  Peace.  I love how he says we cannot get these things - the things we're hungry for - from a super market. Check it out and see what thought's you come up with. 

Since When is Doing the Right Thing a Random Act of Kindness??

A little bit ago, I was waiting for an elevator.  I saw a lady with her hands full walking towards the elevator.  As the elevator doors opened, I asked her if she was coming to the elevator.  She responsed affirmatively, so I held the elevator for her.

She was very surprised I did that and thanked me. When I appeared puzzled, she said most people would not have done so.  I WAS very puzzled, as I only did what was courtesy and the right thing to do.  It never crossed my mind NOT to do so.

It's sad when doing the "right thing" is considered a random act of kindness.  Let's get these type of gestures back to being the normal thing to do!

My Soul is Feasting

The Winter Feast for the Soul started yesterday.  I have to admit, I forgot about it until last night after I went to bed.  So today I'm getting caught up.  I'm checking out some of the meditations that have been posted on their website.   I really enjoyed the Oneness Meditations, as I believe in all things being connected and one.  However, there are so many other ones available to explore!

One of the aspects I especially like about this event is that it involves individuals around the world from all religions and spirituality beliefs together.  I personally do not belong to any specific religion or spiritual faith.  As I've explored my spiritual path, I've discovered that all the religions and spiritual beliefs have so much in common.  With each of them, I find so many aspects I like that I decided I do not belong to any one (similiar in that aspect to the Bahai' Faith).  So for me, this event is especially beneficial.  I wish more individuals could see - and focus on - the similiarities between all the beliefs instead of the differences.  Then we could have peace.