My life had been a fairly easy one, even though my parents divorced when I was young. I was fortunate in that my parents worked hard to remain friends. I have been very grateful to them for that.
In 1999, it seemed like the ‘powers that be’ took a look at my life and decided I was WAY behind on the trials we all have in life - and they decided to catch me up on them. For nine years, my life was lived in what I call a ‘black hole’. Hit after hit came, giving me no time to recover before the next one hit. During that time I remember reading about how trials make us stronger. And I vehemently disagreed with that statement. I felt weaker, not stronger – they were crazy and didn’t know what they were talking about!
I had major anxiety issues from all the stress that was going on in my life. I had no 'tools' to deal with what was happening. My mental state...well, while my family has always considered me odd, was now also on shaky ground. I couldn't take it any more...I had to find a way to deal with this. I did a lot of researching anxiety. This introduced me to many tools and resources to help me. And each thing I learned led me to another one, which eventually led me to my spiritual journey I am currently on.
Three years ago these major events culminated with the death of my eldest nephew. As sad as I am, I have to be grateful to him - he gave me a last gift in his passing. It was through that whole ordeal that I recognized that I had become stronger. The saying was true, we do become stronger through our trials. I now view it as similar to strengthening our muscles. We have to be pushed to the point of being a little weaker, in order for the muscles to build and become stronger.
If you’re in a ‘black hole’, believing you’re weaker and will never be strong(er) again, just have faith. It just takes a little time, but you will come out on the other side stronger. Trust me, I’ve been there.
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