Monday, February 7, 2011

Strength from Trials

My life had been a fairly easy one, even though my parents divorced when I was young.  I was fortunate in that my parents worked hard to remain friends.  I have been very grateful to them for that. 

In 1999, it seemed like the ‘powers that be’ took a look at my life and decided I was WAY behind on the trials we all have in life - and they decided to catch me up on them.  For nine years, my life was lived in what I call a ‘black hole’.  Hit after hit came, giving me no time to recover before the next one hit.  During that time I remember reading about how trials make us stronger.  And I vehemently disagreed with that statement.  I felt weaker, not stronger – they were crazy and didn’t know what they were talking about!

I had major anxiety issues from all the stress that was going on in my life.  I had no 'tools' to deal with what was happening.  My mental state...well, while my family has always considered me odd, was now also on shaky ground.  I couldn't take it any more...I had to find a way to deal with this.  I did a lot of researching anxiety.  This introduced me to many tools and resources to help me.  And each thing I learned led me to another one, which eventually led me to my spiritual journey I am currently on.

Three years ago these major events culminated with the death of my eldest nephew.  As sad as I am, I have to be grateful to him - he gave me a last gift in his passing.  It was through that whole ordeal that I recognized that I had become stronger.  The saying was true, we do become stronger through our trials.  I now view it as similar to strengthening our muscles.  We have to be pushed to the point of being a little weaker, in order for the muscles to build and become stronger.

If you’re in a ‘black hole’, believing you’re weaker and will never be strong(er) again, just have faith.  It just takes a little time, but you will come out on the other side stronger. Trust me, I’ve been there. 

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